


Lingerie, Formals, and Sliced Cheese

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Crazy Love [19]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-13
Updated: 2012-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-09 20:59:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You're kinda the pitiful friend.” Coop said.  “You're also lovable though, to these girls.  Embrace it dude.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lingerie, Formals, and Sliced Cheese

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written in the Thicker than Water universe where the BAU are kids and teens. Every character at this table has been on a Criminal Minds episode sometime in the last seven seasons.

“I got this magazine.” 

Megan sat down at the lunch table on a cold Wednesday afternoon and Hotch looked at her. She looked at him too and then she smiled. She pulled _Seventeen_ out of her bookbag, turning up her nose as she put it on the table top. No one else really paid her any mind; they were in their own worlds. 

Coop was eating, what else was new. Emily was playing drumsticks on his back while chatting with Zoë and Vickie while Jonny drew pictures and talked to Russ Goldman at the same time. He was a recent invite to their lunch table. Megan found him to be a little weird but a good fellow. He stared at her breasts a lot but so did most guys so she wouldn’t hold that against Russ.

“What is it? And why would you buy it if it’s apparently loathsome?”

“I need a dress for the winter formal. They’ve got some pretty ones in there, check out page 42. I didn’t want to buy one of the adult magazines because the clothes cost too much. I know a lot of the snobs here are probably gonna be designer dressed to the nines but there’s prom in a couple of months too and we’re only gonna wear these things once in our lives. I’d rather spend the money on something awesome I can get more wear out of like lingerie and shoes.”

“I'm not at all opposed to your buying lingerie.” Hotch’s dimples poked into his cheeks as he turned to page 42. “I like you in lingerie.”

“You like me naked, Aaron Hotchner.”

“Hey, hey,” Coop said, his mouth full of a meatball sub. “The children can hear you.”

“Eww, don’t talk with your mouth full.” Zoë balled up a napkin and threw it at him. “You just wished someone liked you naked.”

“I have a hot bod, Hawkes. It’s the talk of the girl’s locker room.”

“Not.” Jonny laughed.

“These magazines are disgusting.” Megan went on. “All they do is ramble about perfect dates and how to be skinny and supposedly fabulous. It’s sickening. You can get your hair just like Michelle Williams or learn to sweep boys off their feet like Charisma Carpenter. Give me a break.”

“I don’t like the stereotype that being blonde is your key to the kingdom of awesome.” Zoë said.

“I don’t mind that one.” Megan smiled but it was facetious.

“I was thinking about going blonde.” Emily said.

“Don’t you dare!” Hotch exclaimed, venturing once again into the conversation.

“Why?”

“Cuz then you won't be my twin.”

“I’ll always be your twin.”

“I think that secretly means you’ll look too much like his girlfriend for comfort.” Coop translated. “Ow! Who in the hell kicked me?”

“You're so fair skinned Em.” Megan said, shooting a death glare at Coop. He was harmless but an idiot sometimes. “It might wash you out and that would be a tragedy. You’ve got to work that skin according to _Seventeen_. So it’s stay black or go for a dark auburn ala Stefanie Powers.”

“I would be so badass if I looked like Stefanie Powers.” Emily grinned. “I could be a secret agent like _The Girl from U.N.C.L.E_.”

“Who’s Stefanie Powers?” Vickie asked.

“Aw babe,” Jonny smirked. “You're embarrassing me.”

“Shut up you.” she pinched him. “Who is she, guys?”

“She's only one of the coolest actresses of the 70s and 80s.” Zoë said. “She made it cool to be a redhead after the Lucy era.”

“Along with Lee Remick.” Emily said.

“And Beatrice Straight.” Megan added.

“I don’t know them either.” Vickie admitted. “I feel silly.”

“It’s OK, Vick.” Emily smiled. “We still like you. You’ll just have to come over for a movie afternoon. You’ll know everything after that.”

“Sometimes girls have it hard.” Coop said. “All we guys have to do is pick out a suit to wear. Even a dork can look good in a black suit.”

“You should do well then.” Zoë replied sticking out her tongue.

“You're such a minx. I find that so hot.”

“Shut up Coop.”

“Hey Russ?” Emily tried to get him into the conversation.

_He was one of the quietest kids she’d ever met. She’d known him since tenth grade but couldn’t really call them friends. She wasn’t sure if Russ had friends. He was on the Forensics team, the chess club, a Mathlete, and the recording secretary of the Student Council. Still, there didn’t seem to be any clique that he fit in. On the third day of the 12th grade he looked forlorn as he stood in the middle of the crowded cafeteria looking for a table._

_“Hey Russ!” Coop got his attention._

_“Yes?” he balanced his tray with one hand and pushed his glasses up with the other._

_“You need a seat, dude? We have room.”_

_“Yes, thank you.”_

_He wasn’t very social or talkative; usually he just ate and read. If comic books or movies came up he would get more animated than anyone had ever seen him. The girls always chatted him up but if they got playful or flirty he would blush and clam up. Emily, as impromptu group leader, decided they would adopt him. The whole group concurred and now Russ wasn’t just a lunch buddy, he was becoming a friend. Lucky for Coop too since he had a new Spanish tutor._

“Russ?”

“Huh?” he looked up from his book.

“Are you looking for a suit for the formal?” Emily asked.

“Oh I'm not going.” Russ put his finger in _Slaughterhouse Five_ to hold his page.

“Why not?” Vickie asked.

“Oh um…it’s just a dance. I don’t go to dances.”

“Are they against your religion?” Megan asked. She had finished her chicken salad on a wheat pita. Now it was time to eat Hotch’s waffle fries.

“I'm a lapsed Reform Jew so no.” he shook his head. “I just um…I can never get a date for those kinds of things. It’s OK.”

“It’s not OK Russ.” Zoë put her hand on his shoulder. “If you want to go then you should be able to go. We’ll get you a date, won't we Em?”

“Huh?” Emily looked at her best friend. “Oh yeah, OK, sure thing. We’ll definitely get you a date, Russ.”

“No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want to be the pitiful friend. It’s really OK.”

“You're kinda the pitiful friend.” Coop said. “You're also lovable though, to these girls. Embrace it dude.”

“Emily and Zoë only butt in out of love and respect.” Hotch said. He sensed Russ’ apprehension. He didn’t want to be played. “They would never make a fool of you or make you feel small.”

“Oh absolutely never.” Emily shook her head. “Don’t worry about a thing; we’ll get you an awesome date. I've already got some worthy candidates in mind.”

“You do?” Russ was surprised. “Like who?”

“You cannot interrupt a genius at work, Russ.” Jonny said. “Trust Prentiss…she's good at what she does. She’ll hook you up.”

“Well OK, if you're sure.”

“I'm sure Russ.” Emily said. “You're gonna wanna buy that suit.”

“Which dress am I even looking at?” Hotch asked, showing the magazine to his girlfriend. “There's like four dresses on Page 42.”

“You're just asking me?” Megan looked at him.

“Well we started talking about other stuff.”

“Maybe he was checking out the perfect shampoo for that shine.” Jonny said laughing.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Hotch smirked.

“I use Pantene.” Vickie replied smiling.

“I totally wasn’t looking at shampoo, Vick.”

“It’s the maroon one, Aaron. The colors are maroon, black, and silver; maroon brings out my eyes.”

“Yeah it does.” He smiled at her.

“What about Rachel Harding for Russ, guys?” Megan said. “She's cute and single and reads a lot. I always see her with her face in a book.”

“She is so out of my league.” Russ said.

“No she's not.” Emily said. “I’ll add her to my mental list. Yes, she is cute…and a redhead. Ooh, I'm liking this more and more.”

“I'm not.” Russ mumbled.

“Have faith.” Zoë said. “Being shy and quiet is totally OK. That’s why you’ve got loud and boisterous friends.”

Coop pointed to Emily while Zoë was talking. She pretended to pummel him.

“I'm not boisterous.” Vickie shook her head. That caused even more laughter at the table.

“The maroon dress is pretty.” Hotch said.

“I might not go for that exact thing.” Megan stuffed the magazine back in her bag. “I like the color and style though. We need to go shopping soon before all the good things are gone.”

“I'm going for last minute chic.” Emily said nodding. “It usually works well for me.”

“Oh crap, before I forget,” Zoë said as they were all packing up. Lunch went by much faster than any class ever would. “Sliced Cheese is playing at The Dungeon next Saturday.”

“No shit!” Coop said.

“We’re there.” Jonny said, speaking for himself and Vickie, who nodded.

“This time I'm dragging Jason.” Emily said. “He needs to see these guys. He needs a night out on the town.”

“Do you want to go Aaron?” Megan asked.

“OK.” He nodded. He usually didn’t want to go but tagged along a lot. He wanted to be with Megan and made it his business to look after Emily when she was out there. It was a boyfriend and brother’s job. Plus they usually wanted Hotch to be the designated driver. He wasn’t much of a drinker.

“Russ, are you coming with?” Emily asked.

“Where are you going?”

“We’re gonna see Sliced Cheese at The Dungeon.” Coop said. “They're an awesome ass 80s rock and metal cover band. Until you see them you can't even understand the epicness that was Tesla.”

“Oh um, I can't get in that club. I don’t turn 18 until February.” He said.

“For $50,” Emily lowered her voice. “You can be 21 by next week. If you want to of course, there’s no pressure.”

“Really?”

“Sure, it’s not a problem. I know a dude.”

“Can I bring you the money tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yeah. I think you're going to have a blast.”

Russ smiled, saying goodbye as he headed in the other direction to Economics class.

“He's so adorable.” Vickie said. “I'm glad we adopted him.”

“Me too.” Emily said. “He's good people.”

“One day when he wins the Nobel Prize for something geeky that'll make him rich, women will be coming out of the woodwork.”

“He's not a math and science nerd.” Zoë said. “He likes chess, literature, journalism; that kind of thing. What, we talk sometimes? Shut up Coop!”

“Shutting up.” He zipped his lips.

“C'mon Hotch,” Emily looked behind her to see her brother walking hand and hand with his girlfriend. It was cute since Aaron Hotchner and public displays of affection rarely went in the same sentence. “We don’t wanna be late for English.”

“I’ll catch up.” He said.

“OK. See you later Megan.”

“Bye Emily.” She waved and then looked at Hotch. “I think it sucks that we only have two classes together.”

“Me too.” he leaned and kissed her nose. “Meet me in the front hall after last bell. I’ll drive you home.”

“You don’t have Emily?”

“No, she usually prefers to take the train with her friends. I'm sure they’ve got plenty to discuss in Operation: Get Russ Goldman a Date.”

“Emily is the perfect Henry Higgins to his Eliza Doolittle. Are you just going to drop me off?” Megan smiled.

Damn Hotch loved her smile. There was a chance this girl could be the death of him. Dying might not be so bad in her arms. If this was what love was then love was A-OK with him at the moment.

“I don’t want to be too late for class.” He let go of her hand. “Just meet me in the front hall.”

“Bye Aaron.” Megan headed to the stairwell and her computer class.

She hated it but wasn’t going to drop an easy A. Coasting through senior year would be ideal, though there were always obstacles. They never seemed too overwhelming when Aaron had her back. They were together and staying that way. Megan wasn’t one for trusting in security but she was beginning to trust these feelings.

***


End file.
